Henri Nouwen, in his book Out of Solitude says that “the secrecy of Jesus’ ministry lies in solitude” and I agree. Stepping away from all the distractions and towards the presence of the Father on a regular basis has a profound impact on you every time. Christ was able to attend the needs of the multitudes because He spent so much time alone.

And if you think about it, this is what God intended all along. When Christ died, the veil split. The presence of God was symbolically and immediately accessible. And it is this raw presence that we seek.

Solitude is just the first step in understanding God’s presence. As a parent it is almost second nature for me to crave time alone. When I do get those moments alone, God’s presence is so peaceful, because it is a sharp contrast to the every day life of chaotic schedules, needful children, deadlines, and house work. So this leads me to believe there is something deeper when the presence of God is felt outside of solitude. I just don’t know how to find it when:

1. the baby is sick and generally crying, the middle child has stubbed her toe, and the oldest is arguing about having to clean his room all at the same time. Meanwhile, you’ve spilled water because you were trying to get the dishes done.
2. your work has piled up because you had to take sick leave, but there’s no grace in the deadlines
3. it’s wednesday night and Bible study starts at six, you get home around 5:30 pm, you shovel supper down, rush off to come home at 8:30 to a mile high pile of dishes and a dirty kitchen
4. it is 10:30 at night and the kids will not stay in bed because they instinctively know you are working on the budget

I feel lime if I could tap into God’s presence in those moments, I would gain a peace that truly passes all understanding.

This meeting between the boy and the fish continued on for several weeks. Eventually, the boy was able to coax the fish out of water. Day after day, the boy kept the fish out of water for longer periods of time until the fish could stay out of water for the whole day. The boy then worked with the fish teaching him how to use his fins to walk. Eventually the fish followed the boy home where enjoyed it so much that he decided to live with the little boy. He did so and they became best friends, playing together day after day.

One day the boy and his fish decide to go for a walk. They make their way down to the bridge and over the creek. When the boy reached the other side he heard a splash, where he turned to find the fish was no longer behind him. The fish had tripped and fell into the creek below. As a the boy looked over the edge, he found the lifeless body of his fish floating down stream. The fish had been out of water so long, he forgot how to swim.

What scares me about this story is that we are called to be holy and set apart. Out natural environment should be in the presence of God. However we get so wrapped up in cultural relevance that we forget what it means to stand in His presence. We continue in sin so much that it reshapes our perceptions on life, agreeing to do things we would never have done in His presence.

I laughed seeing the humor in the situation because a parent of three children, I have been in that situation before. However, as our conversation continued it took a different angle regarding perspective. Turns out that his daughter’s rebellious act lead us to see where we are in this relationship with God.

God exists outside of our timeline and has eternal perspective every time He imposes His schedule on our lives. More often than not, we behave like my friend’s daughter because from our perspective He is just “taking away our fun”. We do not feel like leaving the store right now because we don’t “need to go eat” or run more errands. We are so limited in our view of things that it is near impossible for us to see the forest for the trees.

The next time my life is impacted by some life event, I want to take a step back and realize that there is more to this story than just leaving the store. There is an entire world out there with a million schedules, angles, perspectives on life. There is only one perspective that rises above it all. HIS.

On any given day you are likely to hear the oldest complain about how the middle child is incredibly annoying. The middle child will inevitably come up with some ailment that prevents her from doing chores. And the baby will without a doubt make our lives difficult by pulling dishes from the cabinets and books off the shelf.

Yet, in both lights, our children consistently living within our own little kingdom. There is nothing they can do that would ever cause us to caste them out because they are our children.

Along these same lines, it is interesting that Christ focused so much on the Kingdom of God. And when he did he used the sharp imagery of children. They never live in fear that they have been caste out of love’s grasp because it is not with their nature. Furthermore, they don’t act like they belong to another family. Likewise, the presence of God’s kingdom in our own lives should a parallel reality to that of the kingdom’s we live in this world. It is here, present, and we should respond accordingly.

So how do you respond to the kingdom of God being near?

As far As I know, the is the first miracle that Christ performed. So you have to wonder if this decision was intentional?

This whole relationship with Christ has always been a bold image of a marriage between Church the Bride and Christ the Groom. We have always been in the middle of an epic love story! Unfortunately, my passion for a relationship has diminished over the years as I became adept at sinning and allowing “grace to abound.” Why God is still interested I don’t know. I would have left my wife years ago if she treated me the way I treat God.

Having said that, I am acutely aware of the symbolism of Christ’ miracle at Cana wedding feast. While I was content with stagnant water in a broken vessel, the Holy Spirit had been working on turning the water into wine within me, restoring me to the creature God always intended me to be.

I am thankful for John’s portrayal of this event in the life of Christ. Like so many of the scriptures, the symbolism runs deep and serves as a grave reminder of my current condition.

So the last one is something my wife would refer to as a “First World problem.” I agree. There are more that are far worse off than I. However, it explains why I completely wiped on starting the blog up again.

The story starts off at his daughter’s wedding. During the ceremony, he reaches up and touches two beautiful scars on his daughter’s neck. They are the scars from a tragic car accident that endangered his daughter’s life. A flash back takes to the scene of the accident, where in a doctor happened to be traveling down that road. As the doctor came upon the young girl, he decided that she needed a tracheotomy in order to breathe. It just so happened that he was carrying the necessary tools in his pocket that day in order to give her a tracheotomy. Looking back 3 years to this incident, the gentleman sees God’s providence in giving the doctor the courage to perform the medical services on the side of the road, risking his license. God also knew that the accident would happen and had the necessary tools in the doctor’s pocket.

Another story I would like to share happened close to home. A doctor was in his car with his children driving into town. His wife was in the car behind them carrying the extra items. One of the children needed to use the bathroom, so the doctor crossed the lane and pulled over to let his son go on the side of the road. A semi happened to be coming down the road and swirved to miss ongoing traffic. The mom saw the semi heading straight for her husband and son, so she honked. The doctor heard the honking and picked his son up just in time to throw him out of the way before the semi took the doctor’s life.

It is during the second story we tend to think that God’s grace wasn’t present. For some reason, we assume that because we love God or because God loves us, it means that we are free from all the harshness and bad things that might happen. But in reality, God only promises that He will be there to walk us through these trials.

When we moved into the mountain house, I “inherited” a wood shop. It was grandpa’s wood shop from when he owned a construction company. It is filled to the brim with scraps of wood, frames that would someday become masterpieces, old doors that would make really awesome coffee tables, and window frames that will be incorporated in craft project some day. Not to mention the tools sprawled about every where. And the sad thing about it is, I don’t have a clue how to use any of it (except the hammer and nails; even that’s debatable).

You know, the same is true about our gifts from God. We go on watching the gifts and talents of other people, wishing that God would give us the same. Some, in desperation, pray night and day for this gift or that one. More often than not, God never yields to our lofty demands and there is a profound wisdom in that. God knows what we are equipped to handle and if He gave us the gifts we so earnestly seek, they would end up like that wood shed full of tools. I am not questioning whether or not we should pray for things we do not have, for James reminds us that if we lack wisdom, ask and it will be given to us. I am questioning our motives behind the things we don’t truly need.